听演讲后的心得体会500字作文,听演讲||Your body language may shape who you are

(转载自TED)
So I want to start by offering you a free no-tech life hack, and all it requires of you is this: that you change your posture for two minutes. But before I give it away, I want to ask you to right now do a little audit of your body and what youre doing with your body. So how many of you are sort of making yourselves smaller? Maybe youre hunching, crossing your legs, maybe wrapping your ankles. Sometimes we hold onto our arms like this. Sometimes we spread out. I see you. So I want you to pay attention to what youre doing right now. Were going to come back to that in a few minutes, and Im hoping that if you learn to tweak this a little bit, it could significantly change the way your life unfolds.
So, were really fascinated with body language, and were particularly interested in other peoples body language. You know, were interested in, like, you know — — an awkward interaction, or a smile, or a contemptuous glance, or maybe a very awkward wink, or maybe even something like a handshake.
Narrator: Here they are arriving at Number 10. This lucky policeman gets to shake hands with the President of the United States. Here comes the Prime Minister -- No.
Amy Cuddy: So a handshake, or the lack of a handshake, can have us talking for weeks and weeks and weeks. Even the BBC and The New York Times. So obviously when we think about nonverbal behavior, or body language -- but we call it nonverbals as social scientists -- its language, so we think about communication. When we think about communication, we think about interactions. So what is your body language communicating to me? Whats mine communicating to you?
And theres a lot of reason to believe that this is a valid way to look at this. So social scientists have spent a lot of time looking at the effects of our body language, or other peoples body language, on judgments. And we make sweeping judgments and inferences from body language. And those judgments can predict really meaningful life outcomes like who we hire or promote, who we ask out on a date. For example, Nalini Ambady, a researcher at Tufts University, shows that when people watch 30-second soundless clips of real physician-patient interactions, their judgments of the physicians niceness predict whether or not that physician will be sued. So it doesnt have to do so much with whether or not that physician was incompetent, but do we like that person and how they interacted? Even more dramatic, Alex Todorov at Princeton has shown us that judgments of political candidates faces in just one second predict 70 percent of U.S. Senate and gubernatorial race outcomes, and even, lets go digital, emoticons used well in online negotiations can lead you to claim more value from that negotiation. If you use them poorly, bad idea. Right?
So when we think of nonverbals, we think of how we judge others, how they judge us and what the outcomes are. We tend to forget, though, the other audience thats influenced by our nonverbals, and thats ourselves. We are also influenced by our nonverbals, our thoughts and our feelings and our physiology.
So what nonverbals am I talking about? Im a social psychologist. I study prejudice, and I teach at a competitive business school, so it was inevitable that I would become interested in power dynamics. I became especially interested in nonverbal expressions of power and dominance.
And what are nonverbal expressions of power and dominance? Well, this is what they are. So in the animal kingdom, they are about expanding. So you make yourself big, you stretch out, you take up space, youre basically opening up. Its about opening up. And this is true across the animal kingdom. Its not just limited to primates. And humans do the same thing. So they do this both when they have power sort of chronically, and also when theyre feeling powerful in the moment. And this one is especially interesting because it really shows us how universal and old these expressions of power are. This expression, which is known as pride, Jessica Tracy has studied. She shows that people who are born with sight and people who are congenitally blind do this when they win at a physical competition. So when they cross the finish line and theyve won, it doesnt matter if theyve never seen anyone do it. They do this. So the arms up in the V, the chin is slightly lifted.
What do we do when we feel powerless? We do exactly the opposite. We close up. We wrap ourselves up. We make ourselves small. We dont want to bump into the person next to us. So again, both animals and humans do the same thing. And this is what happens when you put together high and low power. So what we tend to do when it comes to power is that we complement the others nonverbals. So if someone is being really powerful with us, we tend to make ourselves smaller. We dont mirror them. We do the opposite of them.
So Im watching this behavior in the classroom, and what do I notice? I notice that MBA students really exhibit the full range of power nonverbals. So you have people who are like caricatures of alphas, really coming into the room, they get right into the middle of the room before class even starts, like they really want to occupy space. When they sit down, theyre sort of spread out. They raise their hands like this. You have other people who are virtually collapsing when they come in. As soon they come in, you see it. You see it on their faces and their bodies, and they sit in their chair and they make themselves tiny, and they go like this when they raise their hand.
I notice a couple of things about this. One, youre not going to be surprised. It seems to be related to gender. So women are much more likely to do this kind of thing than men. Women feel chronically less powerful than men, so this is not surprising.
But the other thing I noticed is that it also seemed to be related to the extent to which the students were participating, and how well they were participating. And this is really important in the MBA classroom, because participation counts for half the grade.
So business schools have been struggling with this gender grade gap. You get these equally qualified women and men coming in and then you get these differences in grades, and it seems to be partly attributable to participation. So I started to wonder, you know, okay, so you have these people coming in like this, and theyre participating. Is it possible that we could get people to fake it and would it lead them to participate more?
So my main collaborator Dana Carney, whos at Berkeley, and I really wanted to know, can you fake it till you make it? Like, can you do this just for a little while and actually experience a behavioral outcome that makes you seem more powerful? So we know that our nonverbals govern how other people think and feel about us. Theres a lot of evidence. But our question really was, do our nonverbals govern how we think and feel about ourselves?
Theres some evidence that they do. So, for example, we smile when we feel happy, but also, when were forced to smile by holding a pen in our teeth like this, it makes us feel happy. So it goes both ways. When it comes to power, it also goes both ways. So when you feel powerful, youre more likely to do this, but its also possible that when you pretend to be powerful, you are more likely to actually feel powerful.
So the second question really was, you know, so we know that our minds change our bodies, but is it also true that our bodies change our minds? And when I say minds, in the case of the powerful, what am I talking about? So Im talking about thoughts and feelings and the sort of physiological things that make up our thoughts and feelings, and in my case, thats hormones. I look at hormones. So what do the minds of the powerful versus the powerless look like? So powerful people tend to be, not surprisingly, more assertive and more confident, more optimistic. They actually feel theyre going to win even at games of chance. They also tend to be able to think more abstractly. So there are a lot of differences. They take more risks. There are a lot of differences between powerful and powerless people. Physiologically, there also are differences on two key hormones: testosterone, which is the dominance hormone, and cortisol, which is the stress hormone.
So what we find is that high-power alpha males in primate hierarchies have high testosterone and low cortisol, and powerful and effective leaders also have high testosterone and low cortisol. So what does that mean? When you think about power, people tended to think only about testosterone, because that was about dominance. But really, power is also about how you react to stress. So do you want the high-power leader thats dominant, high on testosterone, but really stress reactive? Probably not, right? You want the person whos powerful and assertive and dominant, but not very stress reactive, the person whos laid back.
So we know that in primate hierarchies, if an alpha needs to take over, if an individual needs to take over an alpha role sort of suddenly, within a few days, that individuals testosterone has gone up significantly and his cortisol has dropped significantly. So we have this evidence, both that the body can shape the mind, at least at the facial level, and also that role changes can shape the mind. So what happens, okay, you take a role change, what happens if you do that at a really minimal level, like this tiny manipulation, this tiny intervention? "For two minutes," you say, "I want you to stand like this, and its going to make you feel more powerful."
So this is what we did. We decided to bring people into the lab and run a little experiment, and these people adopted, for two minutes, either high-power poses or low-power poses, and Im just going to show you five of the poses, although they took on only two. So heres one. A couple more. This one has been dubbed the "Wonder Woman" by the media. Here are a couple more. So you can be standing or you can be sitting. And here are the low-power poses. So youre folding up, youre making yourself small. This one is very low-power. When youre touching your neck, youre really protecting yourself.
So this is what happens. They come in, they spit into a vial, for two minutes, we say, "You need to do this or this." They dont look at pictures of the poses. We dont want to prime them with a concept of power. We want them to be feeling power. So two minutes they do this. We then ask them, "How powerful do you feel?" on a series of items, and then we give them an opportunity to gamble, and then we take another saliva sample. Thats it. Thats the whole experiment.
So this is what we find. Risk tolerance, which is the gambling, we find that when you are in the high-power pose condition, 86 percent of you will gamble. When youre in the low-power pose condition, only 60 percent, and thats a whopping significant difference.
Heres what we find on testosterone. From their baseline when they come in, high-power people experience about a 20-percent increase, and low-power people experience about a 10-percent decrease. So again, two minutes, and you get these changes. Heres what you get on cortisol. High-power people experience about a 25-percent decrease, and the low-power people experience about a 15-percent increase. So two minutes lead to these hormonal changes that configure your brain to basically be either assertive, confident and comfortable, or really stress-reactive, and feeling sort of shut down. And weve all had the feeling, right? So it seems that our nonverbals do govern how we think and feel about ourselves, so its not just others, but its also ourselves. Also, our bodies change our minds.
But the next question, of course, is, can power posing for a few minutes really change your life in meaningful ways? This is in the lab, its this little task, its just a couple of minutes. Where can you actually apply this? Which we cared about, of course. And so we think where you want to use this is evaluative situations, like social threat situations. Where are you being evaluated, either by your friends? For teenagers, its at the lunchroom table. For some people its speaking at a school board meeting. It might be giving a pitch or giving a talk like this or doing a job interview. We decided that the one that most people could relate to because most people had been through, was the job interview.
So we published these findings, and the media are all over it, and they say, Okay, so this is what you do when you go in for the job interview, right?
You know, so we were of course horrified, and said, Oh my God, no, thats not what we meant at all. For numerous reasons, no, dont do that. Again, this is not about you talking to other people. Its you talking to yourself. What do you do before you go into a job interview? You do this. Youre sitting down. Youre looking at your iPhone -- or your Android, not trying to leave anyone out. Youre looking at your notes, youre hunching up, making yourself small, when really what you should be doing maybe is this, like, in the bathroom, right? Do that. Find two minutes. So thats what we want to test. Okay? So we bring people into a lab, and they do either high- or low-power poses again, they go through a very stressful job interview. Its five minutes long. They are being recorded. Theyre being judged also, and the judges are trained to give no nonverbal feedback, so they look like this. Imagine this is the person interviewing you. So for five minutes, nothing, and this is worse than being heckled. People hate this. Its what Marianne LaFrance calls "standing in social quicksand." So this really spikes your cortisol. So this is the job interview we put them through, because we really wanted to see what happened. We then have these coders look at these tapes, four of them. Theyre blind to the hypothesis. Theyre blind to the conditions. They have no idea whos been posing in what pose, and they end up looking at these sets of tapes, and they say, "We want to hire these people," all the high-power posers. "We dont want to hire these people. We also evaluate these people much more positively overall." But whats driving it? Its not about the content of the speech. Its about the presence that theyre bringing to the speech. Because we rate them on all these variables related to competence, like, how well-structured is the speech? How good is it? What are their qualifications? No effect on those things. This is whats affected. These kinds of things. People are bringing their true selves, basically. Theyre bringing themselves. They bring their ideas, but as themselves, with no, you know, residue over them. So this is whats driving the effect, or mediating the effect.
So when I tell people about this, that our bodies change our minds and our minds can change our behavior, and our behavior can change our outcomes, they say to me, "It feels fake." Right? So I said, fake it till you make it. Its not me. I dont want to get there and then still feel like a fraud. I dont want to feel like an impostor. I dont want to get there only to feel like Im not supposed to be here. And that really resonated with me, because I want to tell you a little story about being an impostor and feeling like Im not supposed to be here.
When I was 19, I was in a really bad car accident. I was thrown out of a car, rolled several times. I was thrown from the car. And I woke up in a head injury rehab ward, and I had been withdrawn from college, and I learned that my IQ had dropped by two standard deviations, which was very traumatic. I knew my IQ because I had identified with being smart, and I had been called gifted as a child. So Im taken out of college, I keep trying to go back. They say, "Youre not going to finish college. Just, you know, there are other things for you to do, but thats not going to work out for you."
So I really struggled with this, and I have to say, having your identity taken from you, your core identity, and for me it was being smart, having that taken from you, theres nothing that leaves you feeling more powerless than that. So I felt entirely powerless. I worked and worked, and I got lucky, and worked, and got lucky, and worked.
Eventually I graduated from college. It took me four years longer than my peers, and I convinced someone, my angel advisor, Susan Fiske, to take me on, and so I ended up at Princeton, and I was like, I am not supposed to be here. I am an impostor. And the night before my first-year talk, and the first-year talk at Princeton is a 20-minute talk to 20 people. Thats it. I was so afraid of being found out the next day that I called her and said, "Im quitting." She was like, "You are not quitting, because I took a gamble on you, and youre staying. Youre going to stay, and this is what youre going to do. You are going to fake it. Youre going to do every talk that you ever get asked to do. Youre just going to do it and do it and do it, even if youre terrified and just paralyzed and having an out-of-body experience, until you have this moment where you say, Oh my gosh, Im doing it. Like, I have become this. I am actually doing this." So thats what I did. Five years in grad school, a few years, you know, Im at Northwestern, I moved to Harvard, Im at Harvard, Im not really thinking about it anymore, but for a long time I had been thinking, "Not supposed to be here."
So at the end of my first year at Harvard, a student who had not talked in class the entire semester, who I had said, "Look, youve gotta participate or else youre going to fail," came into my office. I really didnt know her at all. She came in totally defeated, and she said, "Im not supposed to be here." And that was the moment for me. Because two things happened. One was that I realized, oh my gosh, I dont feel like that anymore. I dont feel that anymore, but she does, and I get that feeling. And the second was, she is supposed to be here! Like, she can fake it, she can become it.
So I was like, "Yes, you are! You are supposed to be here! And tomorrow youre going to fake it, youre going to make yourself powerful, and, you know --
And youre going to go into the classroom, and you are going to give the best comment ever." You know? And she gave the best comment ever, and people turned around and were like, oh my God, I didnt even notice her sitting there.
She comes back to me months later, and I realized that she had not just faked it till she made it, she had actually faked it till she became it. So she had changed. And so I want to say to you, dont fake it till you make it. Fake it till you become it. Do it enough until you actually become it and internalize.
The last thing Im going to leave you with is this. Tiny tweaks can lead to big changes. So, this is two minutes. Two minutes, two minutes, two minutes. Before you go into the next stressful evaluative situation, for two minutes, try doing this, in the elevator, in a bathroom stall, at your desk behind closed doors. Thats what you want to do. Configure your brain to cope the best in that situation. Get your testosterone up. Get your cortisol down. Dont leave that situation feeling like, oh, I didnt show them who I am. Leave that situation feeling like, I really feel like I got to say who I am and show who I am.
So I want to ask you first, you know, both to try power posing, and also I want to ask you to share the science, because this is simple. I dont have ego involved in this. Give it away. Share it with people, because the people who can use it the most are the ones with no resources and no technology and no status and no power. Give it to them because they can do it in private. They need their bodies, privacy and two minutes, and it can significantly change the outcomes of their life.
Thank you.
参考译文
首先我想要提供给你们一个免费的非科技的人生窍门 , 你只需这样做 , 改变你的姿势二分钟时间 , 但在我要把它告诉你们之前 , 我想要请你们 , 就你们的身体和你们身体的行为做一下自我审查 。那么你们之中有多少人正蜷缩着自己?或许你现在弓着背 , 还翘着二郎腿?或者双臂交叉 , 有时候我们像这样抱住自己 , 有时候展开双臂 , 我看到你了 , 现在请大家专心在自己的身上 。我们等一下就会回溯刚刚的事 , 希望你们可以稍微改变一下 , 这会让你的生活变得很不一样 。
所以 , 我们很真的很执着于肢体语言 , 特别是对别人的肢体语言感兴趣 。你看 , 我们对尴尬的互动 , 或一个微笑 , 或轻蔑的一瞥 , 或奇怪的眨眼 , 甚至是握手之类的事情感兴趣 。
解说员:他们来到了唐宁街10号 , 看看这个 , 这位幸运的警员可以和美国总统握手噢 , 还有来自....的总理?不
AmyCuddy:所以一个握手 , 或没有握手 , 我们都可以大聊特聊一番 。即使BBC和纽约时报也不例外 , 我们说到肢体行为或肢体语言时 , 我们将之归纳为社会科学 , 它就是一种语言 , 所以我们会想到沟通 。当我们想到沟通 , 我们就想到互动所以你现在的身体语言正在告诉我什么?我的身体又是在向你传达什么?
有很多理由让我们相信这些是有效的 , 社会科学家花了很多时间 , 求证肢体语言的效果 , 或其它人的身体语言在判断方面的效应 , 而我们环视身体语言中的讯息做决定和推论 。这些结论可以预测生活中很有意义的结果 , 像是我们雇用谁或给谁升职 , 邀请谁出去约会 。举例而言 , Tufts大学的研究员 , Nalini Ambady表示 , 人们观赏一部医生和患者互动的30秒无声影片 , 他们对该医生的和善观感 , 可用来预测该复健师是否会被告上法庭跟这个医生能否胜任工作没有太大关系重点是我们喜不喜欢他和他们是如何与人互动的?进一步来说 , 普林斯顿的AlexTodorov表示我们对政治人物脸部的喜好判断大概可用来对美国参议院和美国州长的 , 竞选结果做70%的预测 。甚至就网络上在线聊天时使用的表情符号 , 可以帮助你从交谈中得到更多信息 。所以你千万别弄巧成拙 , 对吧?当我们提起肢体语言 , 我们就想到我们如何论断别人 , 别人如何论断我们以及后果会是什么 , 我们往往忘记这点 , 受到肢体动作所影响的那群观众就是我们自己 。
我们也往往受自己的肢体动作 , 想法 , 感觉和心理所影响 , 所以究竟我说的是怎样的非语言?我是一位社会心理学家 , 我研究偏见 。我在一所极具竞争力的商业学院上课 , 因此无可避免地对权力动力学感到着迷 , 特别是在非语言表达 , 对权力和支配的领域 。
权力和支配的非语言表达究竟是什么?嗯 , 让我细细道来在动物王国里 , 它们和扩张有关所以你尽可能的让自己变大 , 你向外伸展占满空间 , 基本上就是展开关于展开 , 我说真的透视动物世界 , 这不仅局限于灵长类人类也干同样的事 。不论是他们长期掌权或是在某个时间点感到权力高涨 , 他们都这么做 。特别有趣的原因是 , 它让我们明白权力的展现从来是如此地一致 , 不管古今世界 , 这种展现 , 被认为是一种荣耀 。Jessica Tracy研究表示 , 视力良好无碍和先天视障的人 , 在赢得比赛时都做了同样的事 , 当他们跨过终点线赢得比赛之际 , 无论能否看的见 , 他们都做这样的动作 , 双臂呈V字型朝上 , 下巴微微抬起 。那我们感到无助的时候呢?我们的行为正相反 , 我们封闭起来 。我们把自己蜷起来 , 让自己变得小一点 , 最好别碰到别人 。这再一次证明 , 人类和动物都做同样的事 , 这就是当你有力量和没力量时的行为 , 所以当力量来临时 , 我们会迎合别人的非语言 , 若有人之于我们相对权重时 , 我们倾向把自己变得较小 , 不会模仿他们 , 我们做和他们正相反的事情 。
当我在课堂上观察这么现象时 , 你猜我发现什么?我发现MBA的学生真的很会就充分利用肢体语言 , 你会看到有些人像是统治者走进房间 , 课程开始之前一屁股坐在正中间 , 好像他们真的很想占据整个教室似的 , 当他们坐下的时候 , 身体会展开 , 像这样举手 。有些人则不然 , 他们一走进来你就会发现 , 从他们的脸和身体你会发现 , 他们坐在椅子上的时候把自己变得很萎靡 , 然后举手的时候是这种姿势 , 我观察到很多事情 。其中一件 , 不令人惊讶 , 就是跟性别差异有关 。女人比男人更容易出现这种状况 , 女人一般比较容易比男人感到无力 , 这并不太令人意外 。然而我发现的另一件事是 , 这似乎也跟学生参与的程度高低有关 , 就MBA的课来说这真的非常重要 , 因为课堂参与程度要占成绩的一半 。
所以商学院一直以来都为此伤脑筋 , 入学的时候男生女生是不分轩轾的 。可是成绩出来却有这些性别差异 , 而看起来却有一部分原因和参与度有关 。所以我开始思索 , 好吧 , 这群人一开始进来是这样 , 他们参与其中那有没有可能让大家来假装 , 让他们更加参与进来?
我在Berkeley的主要合作研究伙伴 , Dana Carney我很想知道 , 你能假装直到你成功吗?譬如说 , 只做一下下然后就体验到一个 , 让你感到更加充满力量的结果 。所以得知非语言如何掌控他人 , 对我们的想法和感受 。有很多证据可以证明但我们的问题是 , 我们非语言的部分 , 是否真的掌控我们对自己的想法和感受?
这里确实有些证据可以表明 。举例来说 , 当我们高兴的时候我们会笑但同样地 , 当我们含着一只笔练习笑容的时候 , 我们也会感到开心 , 这说明这是相互的 。说到力量的时候 , 亦是如此 。所以当我们感到充满力量的时候 , 你更加可能会这样做 , 但你也可能假装自己很有力量 , 然后真的感到力量强大 。
那第二个问题就是 , 你看 , 我们知道心理状态会影响我们的身体 , 那身体是否能影响心理呢?这里所说的心理充满力量 , 究竟指的是什么?我指的是想法和感觉和可以组成我们想法和感受的实际事物 。我这里是指荷尔蒙 。我指的是这个充满力量和没有力量的心智是什么样的呢?毫不令人意外 , 心理坚强的人往往比较果断 , 自信 , 且乐观就连在赌注里也觉得他们会赢 , 他们也倾向于能够抽象地思考 , 所以这其中有很大区别 。他们更敢于冒险 , 充满力量与否的心智二者存有许多不同 , 生理上两个关键的贺尔蒙 , 睾丸酮 , 是一种支配荷尔蒙可的松 , 是一种压力荷尔蒙 。我们发现 , 灵长类的雄性首领有高浓度的睪丸酮和低浓度的可的松 , 相同情形也在 , 强而有力的领导人身上可见 。这表示什么?当你想到力量 , 人们往往只想到睪丸酮 , 因为它代表支配统治 , 但力量其实是在于你如何应对压力 , 所以你会想要一个有着很高浓度的睪丸酮但同时又高度紧张的领导吗?大概不会是吧?你会希望那个人是充满力量 , 肯定果断且知道如何支配 , 但不是非常紧张 , 或是懒洋洋的 。
灵长类动物的金字塔里 , 如果一个首领想要掌控这个种群 , 或取代原先的首领 , 几天之内 , 那一方体内的睪丸酮会大大地上升而其可的松会剧烈地下降 , 身体影响心理之例 , 由此可见一斑 。至少就表面而言是如此同时角色的转换也会影响心智 。所以 , 如果你改变角色 , 就一个小改变 , 像这样一个小小的操作 , 这样一个小小的干预?"持续两分钟"你说 , "我要你们这样站着 , 它会让你感到更加充满力量"
我们是这样做的我们决定将人们带进实验室 , 做一个小实验这些人将维持有力或无力的姿势两分钟然后我就会告诉你这五种姿势 , 虽然他们只做了两种这是其一 , 看看这些 , 这个被媒体取名为"神力女超人"还有这些 , 或站或坐 , 这些是无力的姿势 , 你双手交叉 , 试着让自己变小一点 。这是非常无力的一张 , 当你在摸你的脖子 , 你其实在保护自己 。实际的状况是 , 他们进来 , 取出唾液 , 维持一个姿势达两分钟 , 他们不会看到姿势的照片 , 因为我们不想要影响他们 , 我们希望他们自己感觉到力量 。不是吗?所以他们做了整整两分钟 , 我们关于一些事物问:"现在你觉得自己多有力量?"受试者接着会有一个博奕的机会 , 接着再取得唾液范本这就是整个实验 。
我们发现到风险承担能力 , 也就是在赌博时 , 当处于强有力的姿势的时86%的人会选择赌博相对处于一个较无力的姿势时只有60%的人 , 这真是很令人惊讶的差异就睪丸酮而言我们发现 , 这些人进来的那一刻起 , 有力量的那些人会有20%的提高无力的人则下降10%所以 , 再次地 , 当你有这些改变有力的人可的松下降25% , 而无力的人可的松则上升15%二分钟可以让这些荷尔蒙改变 , 使你的脑袋变得果断 , 自信和自在 , 或高度紧张以及感到与世隔绝 。我们都曾有过这些体验对吗?看来非语言确实掌控 , 我们对自己的想法和感受 , 不只是别人 , 更是我们自己 。同时 , 我们的身体可以改变我们的心理 。
但下一个问题 , 当然 , 就是维持数分钟的姿势是否真能引导一个更有意义的人生呢?刚刚都只是在实验室哩 , 一个小实验 , 你知道的只有几分钟 。你要怎么实现这一切呢?落实在我们关心的地方呢?我们关心的其实是 , 我是说你在那里可以用这些技巧去评估时势像是社交威胁的情形 。譬如说你被人打量时?或者是青少年吃午餐的时候你知道 , 对有些人来说就好像在开学校的董事会 。有时候是一个小演讲有时是像这种讲演 , 或是工作面试时 , 我们后来决定用一个最多人能做比较的 , 因为大部分人都曾经面试工作过 。
我们将这些发现发表出来 , 接着媒体就大量曝光说 , 好 , 所以你去面试时 , 你得这样做 , 对吧?我们当然大吃一惊 , 表示 , 我的天啊 , 不不不 , 我们不是这个意思不管什么原因 , 不不 , 千万别这么做这和你跟别人交谈无关 , 这是你在和你自己交谈 。你在面试工作之前会怎么做?你会这样对吧?你会做下来 , 你盯着自己的爱疯或者安卓 , 转移自己的视线 , 你看着自己的笔记 , 你把自己蜷缩起来 , 试着让自己变得小一点 。你真正需要做的应该是 , 找个浴室 , 然后这样 , 花个两分钟所以我们想做是这个把人带进实验室 , 他们再次保持有力或无力姿势 , 接着进行一个高度压力的面试 , 为时五分钟 。所有都会被记录下来同时也会被评论 , 而这些考官都接受过训练 , 不会给予任何非语言的反馈 , 所以他们看起来就像这样 , 像图上所示想象一下 , 这个人正在面试你 。整整五分钟 , 什么都没有 , 这比刁难诘问更难受 。大家都不喜欢这种方式 。这就是MarianneLaFrance所谓的"陷入社交流沙中"这可以大大激发你的可的松 , 我们给予受试者这样的面试 , 因为我们真的想看看会有什么样的结果 。接着我们得出下列四种结果 , 受试者不知假设前提和状况下 , 没有人知道谁摆什么样的姿势 , 接着他们观看这些带子 。然后他们说 , "噢 , 我们想要录用这些人"--那些摆强有力姿势的人--"这些人我们不想录用"我们也评量这群人整体而言更正面 , 但背后的原因是什么?这跟演讲的内容无关而是他们在演讲中带出来的存在感 。同时 , 我们也就这些关于能力之变动因素评价他们像是演讲的整体架构怎样?它有多棒?讲员的证照学历?这些全都无关 。有影响的是 , 这些事 。基本上人们表达真实的自己 , 就他们自己 , 他们的想法 , 当他们心里没有芥蒂 , 这就是被后真实的力量 , 或者可以说是计划的结果 。
所以当我告诉人们 , 我们的身体会改变心理 , 心理会改变行为 , 而行为会改变结果 , 他们跟我说"我不这么觉得--听起来好像是假的"对吗?我就说 , 你就假装一直到你达成目的为止 。不是我啦我不想要到达到那个目标后仍然感觉像是一个骗局 , 我不想要成为一个骗子 , 我一点也不想达到那个目标才发觉我不应该如此 。我真是有感而发的 。这里跟大家分享一个小故事关于成为一个骗子然后感到不应该在这里的故事
在我19岁的时候 , 发生了一场很严重的车祸 , 我整个人飞出车外 , 滚了好几翻我是弹出车外的 , 之后在休息室醒来以后发现头部重伤我从大学里休学别人告知我智商下降了2个标准差 , 情况非常非常糟糕 。我知道我的智商应该是多少 , 因为我以前被人家认为是很聪明的那种 , 小时候大家都觉得我很有才华 。当我离开大学时 , 我试着回去 , 他们说都告诉我说 , "你没有办法毕业的 。你知道 , 你还可以做很多其它的事阿 , 别往死胡同里钻了 。"我死命挣扎 , 我必须承认当你的认同感被剥夺的时候 , 那个主要的身分认同就我而言是我的智力被夺走了 , 再没有比这个更加无助的时候了 。我感到完全的无助 , 我拼命地疯狂地努力幸运眷顾 , 努力 , 幸运眷顾 , 再努力 。
最终我从学校毕业了 。我比同侪多花了四年的时间然后说服我的恩师 , SusanFiske让我进去 , 所以我最后进入了普林斯顿 。我当时觉得 , 我不应该在这里我是个骗子 , 在我第一年演讲的那个晚上 , 普林斯顿第一年的演讲大约是对20个人做20分钟的演讲 。就这样 , 我当时如此害怕隔天被拆穿所以我打给她说 , "我不干了 。"她说:"你不可以不干 , 因为我赌在你身上了 , 你得留下 。你会留下 , 你将会留下来了 。你要骗过所有人 。你被要求的每个演讲你都得照办你得一直讲一直讲即使你怕死了 , 脚瘫了灵魂出窍了 , 直到你发现你在说"噢 , 我的天啊 , 我正在做这件事我已经成为它的一部分了 , 我正在做它 。"这就是说所做的 , 硕士的五年这些年 , 我在North western我后来去了哈佛 , 我在哈佛 , 我没有在想到它但之前有很长一段时间我都在想这件事"不应该在这 。不应该在这 。"
所以哈佛第一年结束我对整个学期在课堂上都没有说话的一个学生说:你得参与融入否则你不会过这一科的来我的办公室吧 。其实我压根就不认识她 。她说:她很挫败地进来了 , 她说"我不应该在这里的 。"就在此刻 , 两件事发生了我突然明白天啊 , 我再也没有这种感觉了 。你知道吗 。我再也不会有那种感觉 , 但她有 , 我能体会到她的感受 。第二个想法是 , 她应该在这里!她可以假装 , 一直到她成功为止 。所以我跟她说 , "你当然应该!你应该在这里!"明天起你就假装你要让自己充满力量 , 你要知道你将会---""你要走进教室你会发表最棒的评论 。"你知道吗?她就真的发表了最成功的评论 。大家都回过神来 , 他们就好像 , 喔我的天啊 , 我竟没有注意到她坐在那里 , 你知道吗?
几个月后她来找我 , 我才明白她不仅只是假装到她成功为止 , 她已经融会贯通了整个人脱胎换骨 。我想对大家说 , 不要仅为了成功而假装要把它溶到你骨子里去 。知道吗?持续地做直到它内化到你的骨髓里
最后与大家分享的是小小的调整可以有大大的改变 , 就二分钟 。二分钟 , 二分钟 , 二分钟 。在你进行下一场紧张的评估之前 , 拿出二分钟 , 尝试做这个 , 电梯里 , 浴室间 , 房门关起在你的桌子前面 。你就这么做 , 设置你的脑袋以发挥最大效益 , 提升你的睪丸铜 , 降低你的可的松 。千万别留下 , 噢 , 我没把最好的表现出来那种遗憾 , 而是留下 , 噢 , 我真想让他们知道 , 让他们看见 , 我是个怎样的人 。
在这里我想要求大家 , 你知道的 , 尝试这有力的姿势 , 同时也想请求各位把这项科学分享出去 , 因为它很简单 。我可不是自尊心的问题喔 , 放开它 。和人分享 , 因为最经常可以使用它的人会是那些 , 没有资源和技术的一群人 , 没有社会地位和权势 。把这个传达给他们 , 好让他们可以私下这样做 , 他们会需要他们的身体 , 隐私和那二分钟 , 然后这会大大地改变他们生活的结果 。
谢谢
【听演讲后的心得体会500字作文,听演讲||Your body language may shape who you are】练习听力 , 音频在这里↓↓

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