1. Congratulations, you just mistook a lamp post for your crush.
2. It's okay if you can't see straight, you're not the only one who can't tell Brad Pitt and the guy selling hotdogs apart.
3. Look on the bright side, at least you won't accidentally wink at the wrong person.
4. Sorry to break it to you, but that Frida Kahlo painting you've been admiring is actually a mirror.
5. If mistaking your boss for a potted plant was an Olympic sport, you'd be a gold medalist.
6. It's not your fault if you keep confusing your ex with a mailbox. After all, they both deliver disappointing news.
7. You can't appreciate beauty if you can't tell a rose from a cactus.
8. Mistaking a police officer for a pole dancer is a surefire way to get arrested.
9. You know you're blind when a tree stump looks like Prince William.
10. When in doubt, always ask yourself: am I seeing clearly or is this just a cardboard cutout?
11. It's hard to have a "type" when every person you see looks like a smudge on your glasses.
12. Even Stevie Wonder can spot a fake designer bag better than you can identify your own friends.
13. The only thing worse than mistaking someone for their identical twin is mistaking someone for their evil twin.
14. If you can't recognize your own spouse, you might have to get a dog to smell them out.
15. You're not visually impaired, you just have a talent for seeing people as blobs.
16. When you mistake your waiter for Tom Cruise, you might just end up with a cocktail in your face.
17. If you can't tell the difference between a pedestrian and a parking meter, it might be time to take an eye test.
18. You don't need luck to spot a unicorn, you need glasses.
19. Mistaking your boss for a pi?ata is not a valid excuse for hitting them with a stick.
20. Just because you can't see straight doesn't mean you have to take a crooked approach to picking up people.
21. Blindness is not an excuse for assaulting a candy machine while thinking it's your date.
22. The problem with seeing stars isn't that they're too far away, it's that you might mistake them for a celebrity.
23. You're not losing your eyesight, you're just too lazy to put on your glasses.
24. When you mistake a fire hydrant for your neighbor, you know it's a sign to go to the optometrist ASAP.
25. If you can't recognize your own reflection, it's time to start wearing nametags.
26. You don't need to go to a theme park to experience illusions, you just need to look at people's faces.
27. Mistaking your own shadow for a celebrity is a sure sign you're lacking Vitamin D.
28. You're not nearsighted, you just have a talent for seeing people as finger puppets.
29. When you mistake a chair for a person, you might want to reconsider your social life.
30. Just because you can't see the forest for the trees doesn't mean you can't see a bear dressed up as your best friend.
31. You don't need contacts to see clearly, you just need to stop squinting.
32. Mistaking an inflatable doll for your significant other is a sign you've been watching too many movies.
33. You're not blind to love, you're blind to everything.
34. When you mistake a mop for your coworker, it's time to clean up your act.
35. You don't need to be a painter to appreciate art, you just need to be able to tell the difference between a sculpture and a rock.
36. Mistaking a mannequin for a bride is a sure way to ruin a wedding.
37. You don't need to be at a magic show to experience tricks of the eye, you just need to look for your own nose.
38. When you mistake a child for a reindeer, it's time to admit you're too old for Christmas.
39. You're not blind to beauty, you're blind to reality.
40. Mistaking a balloon for your date is a sign you're going to be single for a while.
41. You don't need glasses to see clearly, you just need to use your common sense.
42. When you mistake a dog for your boss, it's time to start taking responsibility for your own mistakes.
43. You're not blind to talent, you're blind to potential danger.
44. Mistaking a parking lot for a concert venue is a sure way to get lost.
45. You don't need to be an astronaut to experience zero gravity, you just need to close your eyes and spin around.
46. When you mistake a bale of hay for your crush, it's time to accept you're a city person.
47. You're not blind to humor, you're blind to tragedy.
48. Mistaking a museum exhibit for a movie set is a sign you've been watching too much Netflix.
49. You don't need a medical degree to diagnose blindness, you just need to be aware of your surroundings.
【眼瞎看错人的讽刺句子】50. When you mistake your own reflection for a famous actor, it's time to start working on your confidence.
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